I reconnected with a friend this evening, after intending to speak with her for months. I haven’t spoken to her in years, despite her being one of the most influential women in my life. She’s led by example and honesty, even at times when it’s painfully honest.

She’s able to take a unbiased look at my life and tell me what is what. I’m really grateful for that….. She wrote me tonight after the exchange of some short emails, something more detailed. It was everything that I’ve been saying or trying to say in this blog for some time. It’s everything that I needed to hear from someone I trust so much. Makes me regret losing contact with her.

I recently connected with another friend in a way that I would have never expected. It was fresh and exhilarating and I was hopeful. Then, in two letters, yes, just two, everything I have been trying to be for my entire life came crashing down. Yes, I said these two letters, and in doing so, I ruined everything. I ruined a perfectly good friendship, I ruined and betrayed the trust of a very wonderful and special friend, and I’m sure that I’m not getting it back. I suppose I don’t deserve it after what I did.

But, friend, if you read this, and I hope you do, please believe me. Who you are is beautiful, special and so very wonderful. You don’t ever need to feel bad. You are perfect just as you are. Track 16 of that CD I sent you is what I feel gurl. I HATE that I hurt you. I HATE that I’ve acted like an asshole.

I love you.