Light at the end of the tunnel.
Yes, it’s as though I abandoned this blog, as though, I abandoned my life. As much as it seemed I might be able to do so, this fuckin thing keeps coming back… I can’t escape it… my life is my life, and I have to fix it…
In my absence, I have concluded a couple of things. Maybe not amazing epiphanies to you, but they are for me. So here goes:
- First, my life is my life, and though much of it was taken away, I have it back, and it’s only still gone cause I have allowed it to be. I allowed power to be robbed from me, so, I’m taking it back.
- Second, I am in charge, that means that I do what I want. NOT what is expected of me. I cannot perform to another’s expectations ever, and the pressure of trying to do is what crushes me.
So, from now on, starting right now, I am in charge of what goes on in my life, if I want it, I earn it, I strive for it, and I get what I deserve. I no longer need to please others who are so ungrateful, they would rather crush your humanity than address their own broken selves.
I can’t say for sure if I’m right, but one thing I do know, is that this FEELS right, and that’s all that matters for me…. What matters is that the person I was ten years ago, a naive, innocent and ambitious your person is back, well, the ambitious part anyway… I’m not so naive, nor innocent, Lord help me… and I will from now on always alway remember that my sense of self is very important, and I cannot, and will NOT give it away again.
AH… Now, Let’s get started!