There’s different kinds of coming out, though in the LGBT community, it’s associated with revealing one’s sexual preference or gender identity.

That’s what I’m referring to, in this post.

Coming Out is a process that’s deeply personal, and unless someone is ready to do so, it shouldn’t ever be forced. Yes, in hindsight, a forced outing helps some people, and they’re grateful for that experience. However, those are very far and few between.

Outing celebrities, in my opinion is a horrible, incredible nasty act. If they’ve chosen to live a ‘straight’ life, so be it. It’s their choice to do so. They may find that’s the happiest life they can live, they may feel that it’s the only choice. They might feel it’s best for their career, or they might fear losing everything they’ve worked hard for, including their families. So, what’s the big deal if that’s the choice they’ve made?

We can choose our hair color, and the length of our hair, even if we have any at all. We can choose to end a pregnancy, or begin one, even under false pretences. We can choose to work, or be lazy. We can choose to live in this state, or that province, or this country, or that one.

We can choose to come out, or stay in the closet. We can CHOOSE to live in a closet that’s hidden behind a secret passage way if we want.

Why is it so wrong to choose a closeted life?

If anyone knows me, I’m far from a closet case, I’m unabashedly open and don’t deny my truth. But for some people their truth is to deny their own truth. Confusing? Probably. But we can’t force people to come out. Why should we?

Yes, allies are awesome and amazing, and our lives are so much better with them. Gay or Straight. Knowing that a celebrity is a member of the LGBT community does help the cause, but what if the cost to themselves is too high? We are so selfish, that we ignore the cost of coming out for them? What is wrong with us?

I don’t expect to have all the answers, nor, completely convince anyone of either side of this discussion. But know this. Forcing anyone, particularly a celebrity to come out, is bullying. Outing them on purpose is bullying. We will never end bullying against ourselves or others, if we continue to perpetuate the exact behaviour that we claim to despise.

*this is an ongoing series, as it’s as much a philosophical issue as it is moral and ethical.